Thursday, July 1, 2010
~~~♥♥♥ Emo... Ewwwwww !
I have eye sensitive ? Probably ?
Cause it is really easy to be tear recently.
Maybe my hubby had melt my everything,maybe my god-brother told me too much of being kind.And it's all makes me more fragile,more pure,more innocent and it's not me anymore.
When I see such a cute images like this.U know what's my feeling ?
My feeling was so bad even is like feeling insecure like wanna cry.
Not to be hide,I am like afraid in everything.
I confidence,but the confidence is just cant fixed in my heart.
I don't know what's going on .
Today,my Hiro leave me to Melacca,and I feel like crying,
give you guys guess how long he woulda dump me for?
For your information,is just 24 hours .
JUST ONE DAY WHICH MEANS TOMORROW I WILL MEET HIM UP.
And you guys sure will feel like. WHAT THE HELL? ONE DAYS BUT YOU FEEL SUFFER?YOU ARE TOO DEPENDING.
I don't care,scold all the shits you can. But I am just seriously and truthfully written out my feeling in my blog.
I send him to the lift,I walked with him until the guard house,if there is no raining,I am sure that I will accompany him until he go up to the taxi.
And this morning, both of us walked to the market and have breakfast,he see me go up to the bus and only he will walked off.
We can see him almost all the time in a day but we will still sticking each others so damnly pretty much. OMFG !!
And I am really , seriously , perfectly unreasonable.
I called him not to back to Melacca. And he go back is for some important case which is needa pray for his grand-dad cause beloved him had pass away for a year and this is a must for him to attend.
The like-to-cry little baby like just like begging him please don't go.
He hug the little baby tight,keep on explain and explain very patiently.
Of course the little baby had understand in the early but still she can't let him go and it's just for 24-hours. Is that funny ?????
After he left,I am tired. I am having nap,but my brain is processing and functioning well. I am having a little regret 0n pushing you away from me sometimes when I having a bit angry. And EVERYTIME I angry with NOTHING,you will still comfort me. Even I simply having a sound: ewwwwwwwwwwww ! And you will worry me and come in front of me and ask me,baby what happen. AND if I ignore you,you will continue with the same words,same question on :: Baby whats going onnn? And I push you away you will feel insecure and hug me tight, and I push again and you tight even more tight.
But if I push too much times until over your limitation,you will start hide yourself under the pillow and when I go and pull your pillow you will not allowed me to do so and use more energy to fixed the pillow on your face until I use again more energy and get hurt,maybe hurt my nails or bang somethings,you will show your face,and your warm hand will hold on the part I banged somethings.And our relationship will get back like nothing happened before.
All of these memories this and that makes me grinned alone in front of the computer.
You like to play with me like a kiddo.
2 little kiddo in the house.
I liked to speak japanese to you although I don't know s0 much and so accurate...
When you said something,I like to said :: NANDE ? ---> WHICH MEANS WHY?
And you will said : NANDE MU NAIT====> WHICH MEANS NO WHY.
And I will said :: NANI? ====> WHICH MEANS WHAT ?
And you said :: nani mu nait===> which means nothing.
And I said :: sor des ka? ===> which means IZIIT ???
you answered :: sor des..====> yes.
I said::: HONTONI ??====>REALLY?
You answered:: honto...===> really..
I said:: BAKA HIRO ===> STUPID HIRO.
And I will start keep crapping non-stop like , Osarusandaiyo ( I am a monkey ) , watashiwa totemo yashashiyishi kawaii ( I am soft and cute ). Oiiishii ( delicious ) Itadakimas ( a message to say when you start your meal).. Chotomate ( Wait a while ).. Ayosuminasai --(GoodNight) Ohayo(Morning) ... haha ! And he will answer every word I said in Japanese just I don't know what he saying,cause too long those phrase. Arghhhhhhhh.
And,everytime I wanna fall in sleep,you will''doi doi'' me ''oi oi'' which means using your hand and having continuos small beating on my waist and I will close my eyes. Sometimes,you will just tell me story before I sleep,is about your previous experience and your childhood tales. I am just so addicted and keep on ask '' nande nande nande?'' and you will explain me more details. And I am still can listen until don't wanna fall asleep. haha ! INSANE RIGHT ?
No matter what my future be? No matter we will have forever or not I will still not regret everything I do for you,cause when everytime I pay my effort to you,I can feel my enjoy and I really love to do everything for you,everything I do,I do it for you..
If can of course I hope I will carry this love till always and always.
If really cannot,I will take all the memories of now and save it in my mind deeply inside,cause I will still can stay alive with the only memories with you..
Baby,I don't wan leave you,cause I know I couldn't stand up straight without you.
I afraid........Really scare and insecure,the more love of mine towards you. The more strange in my deeply heart. Sorry for being insecure,though it is not what I want .
I love you....